A 2011 University of California, Berkeley study found that within just 20 seconds of meeting someone, people determine if the person they’ve met is trustworthy, kind, or compassionate. As this study reaffirms, our judgments and perceptions are extremely powerful as they define what each of us perceives as normal. The challenge is that what you perceive to be within the range of normal is likely different from someone else’s definition. And viola – we have an immediate potential for conflict and disagreement.
It is fact – we judge others by their behaviors (what we see them do or hear them say), yet we judge ourselves by our intentions. In fact, we could do the same exact same behavior as someone else and blast them for doing it because we feel our intentions trump the behavior. Need proof? Famous comedian George Carlin made a living exposing these types of inconsistencies in our thinking. One of his famous jokes comes in the form of a very funny question – “While in traffic, have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” Failure to appreciate differences and suppress our natural tendency to demonize anything that is not in our “normal” zone is a major source of conflict and a huge destroyer of trust.
Solution – Solving for this natural tendency requires two things: a serious willingness to change, and a commitment to practice the techniques required to change. In other words, it isn’t easy nor will the solution happen fast. Learning to suppress natural tendencies requires you to identify them, consciously suppress them, and purposefully think something different. As with any attempt to change anything, it also requires a SUCCESS TEAM who will serve as a support mechanism to challenge you as you go through the change process. We have excellent training programs and coaching services that are specifically designed to help you overcome this rather persistent thinking pattern.
There are two other ways you create conflict and destroy trust. Click on the links below to read those articles to begin thinking your way 2 success right now: