Your level of happiness and success is not determined by what you do. They are determined by who you do it with.
I am blessed to have the greatest group of true friends on the planet. They are members of my SUCCESS TEAM because they continually lift me up in the best of times and in the most challenging of times. I intuitively know they are critical to my success, and research shows why who we choose as friends has such a profound impact on everything we do.
Friends Determine Your Level of Success
Up to 95% of your success or failure is determined by your tribe (aka your friends) according to research conducted by Dr. David McClellan, a noted Harvard Social Psychologist.
Friends Determine Your Level of Happiness
Harvard Happiness Expert Daniel Gilbert found that we are happiest when we have strong relationships with family and friends. His research revealed almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more friends.
Friends Determine Your Life Expectancy
The Terman Study, covered in the book The Longevity Project, revealed the more you help people, the longer you live. Those who help their friends and neighbors tend to live to an old age.
With friendship being so critical to your success, your happiness, and your years of life lived, how do you know who is a true friend?
I’ve discovered a true friend…
1. Listens Rather Than Speaks
True friends are experts at listening because they genuinely care about what you have to say.
2. Asks Questions Rather Than Tells
True friends give advice in the form of questions. As Marilee Adams says in Change Your Questions Change Your Life, don’t give advice. Ask great questions because people are smart enough to come up with their own best answers.
3. Responds Rather Than Avoids
True friends are reliable. No matter the time of day or the circumstances you’re facing – when you need them, you can count on them to respond.
4. Supports Rather Than Blames
True friends know we have to go through life’s challenges to grow to meet life’s future challenges. They stay supportive even when we’re off track, and their continued investment in us is what eventually gets us back on the right track.
5. Praises Rather Than Dismisses
True friends may disagree but they never dismiss what we’re doing. They are keen at guiding us to find the right things we should be doing and praising us in directions that keep us growing.
6. Appreciates Rather Than Judges
True friends earn our trust by appreciating who we are, never judging us for who we are, and equipping us to continually refine who we are.
You knew your friends were important, and as the research has shown, they help us become more successful, live happier and longer lives. So pick up the phone and give your true friends a call to thank them. After all, they deserve it!
What other things do your true friends do for you? I’d love to hear your examples so please share them in the comments below.
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Great topic Sardek! My true friends also give me perspective. I’m blessed to have close friends that have known me for multiple decades and different stages of my life. When I’m mulling over a problem, they help me to see the long view.